Miznerisms

“Never joke with a fool.”

“Why do women reformers almost always worry about men?”

“Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.”

“I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.”

“The cuckoo who is onto himself is half way out of the clock.”

“I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at." 

"Easy Street is a blind alley.”

“The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.”

“I hope to heaven I never become so genteel that I can handle my amusement with a smile. For me there is literally no gift to compare with a genuine belly laugh.”

“The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.”

“Henry Ford is a conservative man but he has done more for romance in America than any other individual. And for acrobatics." 

-Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)